100% yoursleves?

Can anyone ever really be 100% themselves?

This is a question that one of my students once asked me during class while we were discussing human behaviour and how we tend to subconsciously practice things we learn.

It was one of those questions that puzzled me to a great extent. I didn't know the answer to this myself, and I kept debating for both sides of the argument in my head. I had absolutely no idea what to tell her, so I decided to discuss it with the children and come to a conclusion together. It's intriguing how a bunch of kids aged 8-14 thought of such an incredible answer! Enjoy reading their collective response.

"To be honest, I don’t think it's possible for someone to be '100% themselves'. Being 100% yourselves would mean that you would be the same person throughout, although your reactions to different situations can and may be different.

Somebody is always trying to be something - something that they currently aren’t. And I feel like this is an attribute that promotes the strive for growth. No-one, really, is themselves. There is no proper definition for “myself”. People are always changing. Sure, there can be specific traits that are prominent and consistent in your behaviour, but people are always changing - in terms of opinions, thoughts, reactions, actions, language, etc.

So 'Be Yourself' is one of the most misleading advices anyone can ever give. What should be said, instead, is that you should be who you want to be, and do what you want to do, in that particular moment. Nothing else matters. Sure, your thoughts and opinions can vary based on past experiences, or fear of the future (immediate or not), and you may even have different views on the same subject at different times. But what matters most is that you do what your mind and heart say to you at the moment.

If you're 'being yourself', then are you really learning? Are you getting better at things? Are you thinking? Are you growing? Or maybe, learning and changing according to circumstances is what defines 'you'?

Every time we learn something in class, we tend to implement bits and pieces of it throughout our daily activities, whether we know it or not. Now, if we're going to school almost every day, if we're coming to dance class almost every weekend, and if we're reading a book or the news, then we're learning something new. So does that mean we're still ourselves? Or are we somebody new, a new person every day, every minute, every moment that passes? So the phrase 'one-hundred percent yourselves' itself is so vague (and misleading too, sometimes)!"

I'm totally awestruck by the kind of responses they all thought of! Of course, however, there are no right or wrong answers to this question. It's always fun to debate, discuss and learn new things, especially when a bunch of middle schoolers participate in deep discussions, like this. Super insightful, naïve and wise all at once!